This episode discusses the benefit of working hard even when you feel you are not going to be able to do what is required. The Savage Siblings take a dive into the appeal of what is easy in life. Andre and Anitra connect this concept to the sibling experiences and responsibilities that they didn’t want to do from simple chores to complex decisions. They discuss the consequences of choosing the easy way rather than the “right” way. They share examples of the importance of ethical choices in life that have a direct impact on your future. This episode is for you if you’re struggling with learning to embrace the challenges that life brings and are tempted to find an easy answer rather than building courage, fortitude and patience. If you find that your ethics were shaped by negative childhood experiences that you find difficult to change, take a listen! If you reflect on how you enjoy meeting the challenges, don’t go anywhere, this is the episode for you. The Savage Siblings give you hope and incentive to meet the challenges of life in spite of the appeal of easy.
Memorable quotes:
Keywords:
#MentalHealth, #therapy, #psychotherapy, #relationships, #psychology, #healing, #counseling, #ministry, #transformation, #change, #counselor, #therapist, #wholeness, #healthy, #health, #lifestyle, #mental, #emotions, #emotional, #spiritual, #minister, #christianliving, #christian, #wellness, #lifecoach, #forgiveness, #SavageSibling, #Savage, #Sibling, #Brother, #Sister, #Family, #Parent, #S2Mediaworks, #SavageSiblingsPodcast, #Cantdothis, #Meetthechallenge, #Ethicsinlife, #Takingtheeasywayout, #Destinythroughhardship, #Sacrificetodoright, #Accountability, #TheAppealofEasy, #Cognitivedissonance, #NoShortcuts, #Effectiveandefficient, #Valueethics, #Gettoyourvalue, #Getoffthecouch, #Curbappealonly, #Noautopilot,
Call to Action:
Brutally Honest. Relentlessly Transparent. Unapologetically Authentic.
This episode discusses the benefit of working hard even when you feel you are not going to be able to do what is required. The Savage Siblings take a dive into the appeal of what is easy in life. Andre and Anitra connect this concept to the sibling experiences and responsibilities that they didn’t want to do from simple chores to complex decisions. They discuss the consequences of choosing the easy way rather than the “right” way. They share examples of the importance of ethical choices in life that have a direct impact on your future. This episode is for you if you’re struggling with learning to embrace the challenges that life brings and are tempted to find an easy answer rather than building courage, fortitude and patience. If you find that your ethics were shaped by negative childhood experiences that you find difficult to change, take a listen! If you reflect on how you enjoy meeting the challenges, don’t go anywhere, this is the episode for you. The Savage Siblings give you hope and incentive to meet the challenges of life in spite of the appeal of easy.
Memorable quotes:
Keywords:
#MentalHealth, #therapy, #psychotherapy, #relationships, #psychology, #healing, #counseling, #ministry, #transformation, #change, #counselor, #therapist, #wholeness, #healthy, #health, #lifestyle, #mental, #emotions, #emotional, #spiritual, #minister, #christianliving, #christian, #wellness, #lifecoach, #forgiveness, #SavageSibling, #Savage, #Sibling, #Brother, #Sister, #Family, #Parent, #S2Mediaworks, #SavageSiblingsPodcast, #Cantdothis, #Meetthechallenge, #Ethicsinlife, #Takingtheeasywayout, #Destinythroughhardship, #Sacrificetodoright, #Accountability, #TheAppealofEasy, #Cognitivedissonance, #NoShortcuts, #Effectiveandefficient, #Valueethics, #Gettoyourvalue, #Getoffthecouch, #Curbappealonly, #Noautopilot,
Call to Action:
Brutally Honest. Relentlessly Transparent. Unapologetically Authentic.
<silence> Hey, hey, beautiful people. How are we doing? I am Anitra n Lawson storyteller, producer, educator, content creator. He is Dr . Andre Evans.
Andre:What's going on? Savage
Anitra:People? He is a brother. He's a father, he's a writer. He's pest. I have to keep thinking of the things right . <laugh> . And we are the Savage siblings . This is the Savage Sibling Podcast where we are brutally honest, relentlessly transparent, and unapologetically authentic. So glad you guys are here for another episode. We always kick it off with a check-in. So , bro , bro , how you doing? Checking in with you? Uh ,
Andre:I am doing well. Uh, just , um, just kind of going over conversation we had earlier this week or late last week. Can't remember. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> ,
Andre:Um, where we would just kind of talk about everything we've got going on with S two media works and how things are unfolding. But not just that, but then I was talking a lot about just what's going on with my men , my personal ministry. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> with church, just life. And we were both kind of, kind of reflecting on that. And, but in , I remember in our conversation it was like things were , were feeling heavy, like things were, you know, where's the money coming from?
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Where's the ,
Andre:You know, all this stuff. All these things. And, you know, one of the things I, I kind of realize in that moment, or at least it feels like in that moment, is like that the , the weight of promise is, is oftentimes the heaviest Mm-Hmm . When we are , uh, we're closest to the breakthrough of the promise, right? Yeah .
Anitra:Yeah .
Andre:Because you can see the stuff moving, but now the big challenges are coming because I really do feel like a lot of times when the magnitude of what you're working towards starts to get real, then there's also the magnitude of the responsibility you have to , to , to see it through, to its kind of success. So things start breaking down, questions start needing to be answered,
Anitra:Emotions
Andre:Start overflowing, like all these things. Right? But, but here's the thing. You know, when you are answering those questions, then those questions no longer exist when the things start breaking down and you clear out what's broken, and you start to look to build up things better, or you clear out the emotions that are kind of weighing you heavy, you know, then you're, you're, you've got space. And I'm wondering sometimes what if it's heaviest at that moment so God can get you to clear out all the negative thoughts and emotions because he , he's making room Yeah.
Anitra:For what
Andre:The breakthroughs got to occupy.
Anitra:Yeah.
Andre:Uh , and I , I think some of the time , some of the moments where it's hardest for us in life, I believe sometimes it's this understanding that , uh, you gotta clear out some stuff to make room for what's coming. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , it reminds me of like, when a , uh, mother's about to give birth and
Speaker 3:They
Andre:Do what's called nesting.
Speaker 3:Yep .
Andre:Yep . <laugh> . And you start, you start getting rid of stuff, and then you start putting stuff in, and the stuff you got rid of, you're getting rid of it because it doesn't speak to the life of what you're about to bring to the future. Yeah .
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm .
Andre:<affirmative> to the future. Right? So you start bringing in stuff Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 3:<affirmative>
Andre:That's suited directly for the future. Yeah . So,
Speaker 3:So
Andre:That's, so I think there's sometimes where we definitely go through this mental, this emotional nesting.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Andre:And that's oftentimes an indicator that we're closest to our breakthrough, our , our whatever it is, our passion coming to fruition. Yeah . Uh , we're closest to, you know, whatever has been revealed in our spirit, revealed in our hopes and dreams about to become our reality. We , we start that nesting
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm . Process.
Andre:Mm-Hmm . So I feel like that's what I've been doing past week and a half is, is just that proverbial nesting. Yeah .
Speaker 3:Where
Andre:I'm like, all right , I , I gotta be laser focused because I don't need anything distracting me. Yeah .
Speaker 3:Uh ,
Andre:You know what I mean? I gotta, I wanna stay in my lane. Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 3:<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm .
Andre:<affirmative> . Because what I don't need is someone causing me to exit before my exit. Right. Yeah. That's good . So so's So I'm just doing, I'm doing so much right now of being so focused on exactly what it is I know I'm supposed to be doing because that's good . It's moving. Opportunities are being taken.
Speaker 3:That's
Andre:Good. Uh , chances are being taken. Risks
Speaker 3:Are being
Andre:Taken.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Andre:And , and so I have got to be laser focused right now. Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 3:<affirmative> .
Andre:Because just the slightest distraction makes the risk not worth it. That's good . The opportunity fail. And so I'm just, I'm doing my best to focus. And I do believe then for me , uh, because, you know, I'm, I'm a person of faith. For me, it's God saying, no , you're , you're going through this because you're making room for the breakthrough.
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you're
Andre:Making, you're making room.
Speaker 3:It's greater.
Andre:Yeah . One of the hardest things to do is to press through the difficulty, because destinies coming through the hardship
Speaker 3:Of the
Andre:Pressing
Speaker 3:Destiny
Andre:Doesn't come when things are easy.
Speaker 3:Nope.
Andre:<laugh> destiny comes through the pressing of the hardship.
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative>
Andre:Not the ease. Nothing comes,
Speaker 3:Nothing
Andre:Good, comes nothing . That's easy. And , and I realized I was talking about destiny, but like, nothing comes good. That's easy. <laugh> nothing. Money that comes easy ain't good for you. Women that come that are easy ain't good for you. Men that are good for you, ain't that are easy. Rather , men that are easy ain't good for you. Nothing that comes easy. It's necessarily good for you. There's a difference I found then between favor and easy.
Speaker 3:Because , you
Andre:Know , there's a whole lot of folk walking around talking about , oh man , that teaching , that was easy. No . Okay . Right . <laugh> , that was favor. That's why you got that. That's
Anitra:Why you still standing
Andre:<laugh> . That's why you still Right . That's how you made it through unscathed. That wasn't easy. You had the favor of the Lord upon you. Um , 'cause yeah, there's , there's a difference between easy and and favor. But that's, that's me. Right . That's what I'm , that's what's been for me because of that . That's , that's final statement. I'll say . I always want to both identify Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:<affirmative>
Andre:And take on the favor. I never want to identify and take on the easy. Nope . Because there's a reason why it was easy. <laugh> . So , so anyway , that's,
Anitra:That's maturity.
Andre:Right, right. Right. I'm not going to tell you how I learned that. Right . That's not this episode. <laugh> , that's not this episode. That's the episode of, Ooh , I wish I never had <laugh> . If I never had ever. That's that episode <laugh> . So anyways , that's what's going on with , right . That's the Carl Thomas episode <laugh> , so ,
Anitra:Oh God. Yeah . That's so funny.
Andre:Sounds like what's been going on.
Anitra:It sounds like we've had similar weeks <laugh> . Um , I think for me, I was, I labeled this week as a shots fired week. Oh . Where ? Yeah. But in a good thing, God is always in the midst . But , um, with that whole shots fire , where it felt like there's a lot of things have been coming at me, every time I would hear God say, wait, like, wait, wait. Just keep waiting. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And I'd be like, ah . But , um, I don't know . Have you ever seen those , um, those war movies where they have to get behind the barricade or the dugout? Oh, yeah . You know, and Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> what they learned to do, bro, bro, is wait until the , the other, you know , the enemy empties their rounds and then you shoot <laugh> . Right. I said, I said, Lord, there's a reason why I don't, you didn't ever send me to real war. I said, 'cause I probably end up killing everybody, my , my side and their side. 'cause I don't know how to wait. I'm gonna just be like, like everybody's getting these bullets. And so this whole week has been guys saying, wait, now go. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Wait, now shoot. <laugh> . Right . Wait. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> now run. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Right . If it's up to me, I'm probably gonna be down in the first two minutes 'cause I'm just out there letting it go. So it's, it's been an interesting week. I've had to learn the art of duck and cover, but , uh, what I love about God is he's just been like, wait, I'm gonna tell you what to do. And so even though some of it has been unpleasant or uncomfortable , um, when I surrender to that waiting and, and knowing when to move based on what he says, that it works out. So, sounds like we've been in similar places, but I've been trying to shoot 'em all . I've been trying to take 'em out <laugh> . He's like, wait,
Andre:Is that
Anitra:Right ? They're reloading Do it.
Andre:Now. North scenario , um, reminds me of that scene in Harlem Nights where I'm sitting ho and his boys are shooting at Eddie <laugh> , I'm gonna kill you quick . And they all shooting in that one little dude with that little gun . Pow , pow helps it again . But see, if you don't wait, you'd have got clipped by the little pow pow . Like , you gotta wait, you gotta wait until they all run outta ammo. But you're so right. You're so right because you know, you know that shots fired scenario. Absolutely. Because, you know, what I have found in that type of situation or that type of scenario is, is oftentimes when I wait and, and I just make sure I deal with all of the adversity, deal with all the questions, deal with the I wait . Then what I've actually found is if I don't move until all the questions are asked, Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , if I don't move until all the, the issues , uh, are , are out, then I realize that then once I start to handle them, all the adversity ain't got nothing left.
Anitra:Yeah . So good. Does that make sense? Me Worn
Andre:Ain't left .
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> you still got energy to fight . Right ?
Andre:Exactly. Exactly. It's , it's so, so for you, it's the shots fired for me, it's the rope dope . Where Muhammad Ali's just letting George Foreman wa on him
Anitra:Just
Andre:Weigh , you know ?
Anitra:But
Andre:He , and then he starts talking. You got more, you got <laugh> ,
Anitra:You wearing them down
Andre:<laugh> , and then you're too tired . I love it . I love it when Adversity's too tired to fight me anymore. Yes . That anointing and favor takeover. And
Anitra:I'm like, okay,
Andre:I took your best shot.
Anitra:Yep .
Andre:I took your best shot.
Anitra:Yep .
Andre:Um , so yeah. Yeah. I
Anitra:Love that.
Andre:I get it. I get it .
Anitra:I love that. All right , well, we're gonna jump into our sound off segment. Sound off segment. Sound off . I'll kick it to you, bro. Bro.
Andre:No doubt. So this episode, we're entitling not going to be able to do it . Uh , yeah. Yeah. Because what we're looking at is, is what's the benefit of working hard versus what's why is easy so appealing.
Anitra:Yeah.
Andre:So sometimes when we look at the hard things, we say, I'm not gonna be able to do it. But I've learned that when I look at the easy things Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> ,
Andre:I'm not gonna be able to do it.
Anitra:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And ,
Andre:And so yeah. That's why the title of this particular episode is not going to be able to do it. And , and we, we , we start the, the un the the notion <laugh> , you know, the , one of the reasons why we call the Savage siblings is there, there's this learning process of doing things the easy way versus the hard way. Or what I might even say the easy way versus the right way. <laugh> , that
Anitra:You keep growing up,
Andre:Growing up with the sibling. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> and the household. And, and your , your first lesson there is, is your , your , you have to , uh, you have to join in, in the share of the workload of the family, keeping the, the house. And you find really that, well, at least from a a child's perspective, the children are the slave laborers. The parents don't do anything <laugh> .
Anitra:They
Andre:Just leave the house at nine and come back at six or seven. Yeah . While we gotta do everything else, <laugh> , we gotta do everything. But I house ,
Anitra:That's why I had you .
Andre:Right . <laugh> , if you do , the amount of times I have said to Cory Corin , Hey , uh, I had you for this reason. Right ? Hey , and really to get , give you the remote. Yes. Yes . Pour you some water. Yes. <laugh> . Yes, yes. I had you for this reason. Right? Absolutely. And, and I know for them , I know what it feels like for them, but I'm ,
Speaker 4:Yes. We've been
Andre:There, I'm teaching them life lessons, clearly <laugh> ,
Speaker 4:I'm
Andre:Teaching them life lessons. A hundred percent . That's what I'm teaching them . <laugh> . So, so I know, but as a kid, it feels like, like forced participation, right?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Andre:Because, you know, the parents are told, you know, or they have this notion that it's important to instill, you know , these values and this work ethic and all this in their children. And, and , and so it starts with chores. Like, I need you to do these chores. And as a child, you're like, I don't understand. You've been doing this all your life before you had me. Like, why? I don't understand, why am I doing it all now? Right ? But the , the issue here, and this is where we get up, where , this is why I say, you know, this is where we learn whether to do things easy or to do things right, but we'll say easy or hard. Right .
Speaker 4:But
Andre:To be hard is the right way to do it.
Speaker 4:Right.
Andre:Because the parent says, do the chores. But I'm gonna tell you , I'm , I'm , I'm being be honest here. My dad said, I , your job, Andre, is to take out the trash. Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 4:<affirmative>. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Now,
Andre:There's two parts to this that I wanna talk about. <laugh> . First part is, is he, he said, you going to take out the trash. And then he never gave me a modeling example, right? <laugh>.
Speaker 4:Right.
Andre:I've never seen my dad take out the trash. Not once. Right? He simply said, your job is to take out trash.
Speaker 4:Right ? <laugh>
Andre:Okay. Didn't teach me the steps to take it out. The trash just said take out trash. So right there now I've got is this example where I could say, okay, there's an easy way and there's a hard way. Now the easy way in my mind is let it pile up and wait till mom and dad say something.
Speaker 4:Right? That's
Andre:The easy way in my mind, because I don't want to do it. But that ends up being the wrong way. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Because my dad would say, why'd you let this trash pile up <laugh> ? See, at that moment then it's no longer easy because it didn't matter what I was doing, I had better stop and take that trash
Speaker 4:Out. Yep .
Andre:What I perceived as the hard way, which is actually the right way, was, is listen, don't let it overflow when it's ready to be tied up, when you have a break in what you're doing.
Speaker 4:Mm .
Andre:Like you finna go outside and play. Just take the trash out. I perceive that as the hard way. Right.
Speaker 4:When
Andre:It actually, it's the right way. And it's the way that didn't get got , get my butt beat. It's the way that didn't get me popped across the head. It's the way that didn't get me having to explain to my friends why I can't come outside, Andre, come out here and tell your friends why you can't come outside, y'all. I can't come outside. 'cause I didn't take out the trash trash . Now they're looking at me like, why didn't you take out the trash? We would've took it out for you , <laugh> . We can't play football and, and we can't get, we can't play this game in the backyard that's going to put us in the emergency room. 'cause you didn't take out the trash. And so it's like, so you just made life difficult, trying to do things the easy way. That's the first thing it taught me. But here's the other thing. Dad wasn't just teaching me work to do chores, rather, he was teaching me an ethic in life.
Anitra:Yes , exactly
Andre:Right. The ethic in life was, is you gotta take care of what you're blessed with. Rightly. You gotta take care of the opportunities that you get that are blessing. You can't just let trash pile up because it devalues, it takes away from the value. It takes away from the credibility of
Anitra:The
Andre:Blessing.
Anitra:Yes .
Andre:So, an ethic has to say, take care of what you're blessed with. The, the hard or the right way would've been to do it the easy way that I thought was, well, how come Nikki can't take out
Anitra:The
Andre:Trash? Right . <laugh> . Right . So the first one is, is I let the trash pile up. Wait till mom or dad say something. I thought that was easy. Now the next one is, is well, why can't Nikki do it?
Anitra:Right?
Andre:She's here. And, and that also end up being the wrong thing. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> . Because
Andre:Now dad is saying, no, Nikki has different chores.
Anitra:Yes.
Andre:Don't you question me again. So it's not that she's not pulling her weight, she just has a different weight to pull. Now the problem with the second one is, is Dad didn't explain it too well. Right. <laugh> dad was Dad, I said something <laugh> , I Right . Dad was like, because I said so, but No, no, no, no. Lemme tell you what dad said to me, <laugh> what dad said to me. And this is here where you get the second opportunity to do things the easy way or the hard way, depending on how you take the message that's given to you in the moment. Right ?
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative>
Andre:Dad says, Nikki has other chores. Right? I need you to take out the trash. Watch this. What dad said to me one time, he said, because I don't ever want Nikki to be out there by herself where something can happen to her
Anitra:Right
Andre:Now. Me, my dumbing self . Okay, cool. No problem. Wait a minute. But it's okay for me to be out there by myself . Wait a minute. So something can happen. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So there's a danger in taking out the trash that you're okay if I Listen, listen, he turned into Abraham in the Bible. So I'm
Anitra:The sacrifice. Yes .
Andre:I'm the sacrifice. So , so there's no ram . I could not , I'm okay. Right there. Was there Better not be a ram in the trash can . That's a whole nother issue. Like, wait a minute, it's okay that, that, that, that I'm putting myself in danger.
Speaker 3:Right ?
Andre:<laugh> . But, but what that is also suggest, what that also taught me then is, is the easy route sometimes that we take, is because we think that we can get through unscathed and it's
Speaker 3:Going to be okay.
Andre:Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 3:<affirmative> .
Andre:But that doesn't mean it's the right choice. Yes. Sometimes the hard decision means that you put yourself at risk.
Speaker 3:Right . <laugh> .
Andre:But that doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. Right. So, so, so, so when we are looking at, you know, what's the appeal of easy? Sometimes, you know, the , uh, the appeal of easy. We feel like it's safe. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> we feel like, you know, it's less work. We feel like Mm-Hmm . You know, all of these things that, that very well may be true, but that doesn't make it the right decision. Yeah . It doesn't build ethic. It doesn't build value. Yeah .
Speaker 3:And
Andre:The choice you're making. And so sometimes then making the hard choice , um, is actually better because it's the right choice. There's more value in it, there's more longevity, there's more endurance. There's definitely more , uh, more ethic. Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 3:<affirmative> . Um , and ,
Andre:And it's, and it's again, it's, it's, you know, somewhere along those lines, I had to look at the shortcuts in my ethic and say, no, no more easy stops.
Speaker 3:No more ,
Andre:No more shortcuts. Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 3:<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> .
Andre:Right. And so what I actually was defining as hard is actually , uh, a desire that I had to avoid the sacrifice it takes for greatness.
Speaker 3:Wow. Right.
Andre:Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 3:<affirmative> ,
Andre:Anything worth having is worth working for. Yes.
Speaker 3:Yes. You
Andre:Don't have to make sacrifice in getting, I remember there was a time where , um, I spent all day , uh, playing outside. 'cause y'all young people, there was a time that's
Speaker 3:What we did in our lives
Andre:Where we had to venture into this very scary environment called the outside. Right. <laugh>. And , and you have to be in this place
Speaker 3:Called fresh air
Andre:The outside until this, this, this phenomenon, this electrical phenomenon called streetlights. Right. <laugh> , you , you didn't come back home until this electrical phenomenon called streetlights came on . Right . And then you, you'd come back
Speaker 3:And you ran
Andre:From this, this, this, this, this, this, this, you know, outlandish this, you know, this roughing it adventure called outside, you'd come back in. And so one, one Sunday night when the electrical phenomenon called street lights came on, I came in from this, this mystical place called outside from doing this thing, this, this activity we call playing with our friends. Right. In the outside in the flesh. <laugh> in the flesh. Right. Right . Not virtual. Right. <laugh> . Right . Not virtual. We didn't put anything over our eyes and hold these controllers in , in hair . No , no . We , we , we put actual things in our hand , like a basketball. Right . A football <laugh> . Like we put a stick , a stick rocks. Right ? Right . And so after coming from this adventure called outside with the electrical phenomenon of the streetlights coming on, on a late Sunday night, I remembered I had homework.
Anitra:Ooh . Oh lord, that's gonna be true .
Andre:And my dad found out I had homework, <laugh> .
Anitra:Oh lord. That's the worst.
Andre:I wanted to take the easy way out and be like, well, I'll just do it, you know, in class. I'll get to class five minutes early. Do it real quick and turn it in. Yes. Uh ,
Anitra:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>
Andre:And , and , and , and , and ,
Anitra:Yes .
Andre:And Uhhuh . And so what , what what I was trying to avoid and taking the quote unquote easy way out Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> was avoid sacrificing my sleep. Or , uh, you know, you know , sacrificing the great my playtime. Right? Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . That's what I was trying to avoid. And I was, I was, I was . And , and so I was looking for a quick resolve. That's what I wanted .
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> .
Andre:Right . But , uh, I , I , because I know I need to do the homework, but I shouldn't have to work hard to get it done. Yeah . I know I want a good grade, but I shouldn't have to work hard to get it done. Yeah . And my dad asked a question, I , I wish the question was, well, why wouldn't you wanna work hard? Why don't you wanna work hard? That's , that's not, that's not the question he asked.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:He asked a different question that implied the same thing.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:<laugh> . And , and , and I don't even know if it was a question, but it seemed like a question. But what he said to me was, is I wish you would go to bed. Right. <laugh> . Now, to me it seemed like a question. 'cause it felt like he was giving me a choice.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:Easy or hard.
Anitra:It was not easy
Andre:Or hard. It , it was, it's like, you know, I dare you to go to bed. Let me see what you're going to do. Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:<affirmative> ,
Andre:Let me , let me see what you're gonna do. <laugh> , right? Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , because for dad, taking the easy way out meant a lower grade meant I'd just be average. And in a day and a time where I have to work twice as hard.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:To be, to be , uh, to be looked at as average. Right.
Anitra:Dad
Andre:Was like, no, you're not, you're not getting ready to take the easy way out
Anitra:Because Yeah . Better than that,
Andre:The world will see your ethic and give you a below average rating, and they're going to treat you below average. Yeah . So, no, I wish you would go to bed.
Anitra:That's ,
Andre:And and here's the thing. That lesson is something I carry with me today. And there are times Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> where I know I need to do something for work, for ministry, but I wanna go to bed 'cause I'm tired. Um , the day has been full for me. And I literally will say to myself and my dad's voice, I wish you would go to bed.
Anitra:Ooh , you teaching me. I need that right now.
Andre:I wish you would go to bed.
Anitra:Ooh , that's good.
Andre:Because the bottom line is this, if I take the easy route, go to bed, then I know the quality of what I'm gonna produce. If I made that choice,
Anitra:That's so good. Ooh . That's a good one.
Andre:But if I'm willing to sacrifice, easy to do what's hard, but Right. I also know the quality of the results when I do things that way. That's
Anitra:So good.
Andre:And they're just two different Absolutely. Two different qualities. So, so, so <laugh> , um, I'm a I'm gonna kick it to you for just a second. Yeah . What did, for you, where does this kind of ethic , uh, find its foundation , uh, for you? Yeah . What , as far, what are , what was your formative , uh, foundational moment when it came to, to ethics?
Anitra:Yeah. I love it when unpacking the, the appeal of easy. And I was , uh, I love hearing your perspective. 'cause you know, we think about it for the sound off segment from the perspective of siblings and I, it makes sense to me now just even processing it. 'cause mine was very different. Like when I think about chores, you know, any kid growing up, you're like, I don't wanna do chores. I don't like it. Um, there's so many more fun things as you so beautifully laid out that we could be doing when we're children. But I, as the younger sibling, never felt like a forced participant. Of course, we knew we had to do it. Right . You know, our , our mom had the rubric and the chart and the thing posted in the kitchen of which days color coordinated. Right . So who was doing dishes when, who was taking out the trash? So it was just ingrained in our experience. But in terms of , uh, feeling forced, I remember not feeling that way. 'cause I could look and see everybody, you know, was doing it. Mom had her bit. Right . You had your bit , you know , I had mine. Even though dad didn't do chores, I understood he was the provider. He took care of the other things , uh, that at the time you don't understand till you become an adult. And so I kept thinking, man, where does this foundation for the appeal of easy come when I'm looking at, you know, come from when I'm looking at my relationship with my sibling or my family. Right?
Andre:Right .
Anitra:And I started processing it, bro, bro. And I said , let me unpack this thing so I can really see what it is. 'cause when you're the older sibling, and, and I think you've pointed this out, but I'd love to hear from other folks. 'cause I was the younger, everything you do growing up when you have younger siblings for you, is about accountability. It's about responsibility. So there is this kind of, you know, pressure or force participation because like you already laid out, it's not just that I have to take out the trash. There's a why that it has to be me. That has to do with the hierarchy of the, you know, you in the birth order of the oldest sibling. And I bet , uh, many older siblings feel that way. But when I was kind of thinking, okay, well where does this appeal to easy come from for me, as a younger sibling, I was thinking about this notion of , okay, well we think about easy as, you know, you can achieve something without great effort. Right. Or , uh, whatever you're going for doesn't present many difficulties. Or there are few difficulties. Right. Or the , the circumstances free from worry or problems. And I'm thinking about my situation with you. And I said, so when I think about easy, Andre did not make my life easier at all. <laugh> . So for me, it wasn't our family or the chores or the rules. It was you <laugh> . Right? It was no, everything that Andre does, it is with great effort. And we've talked about it in the past podcast episodes, where if it was friends stopping by to see me, you , you slamming the door in their face. If it was who's going to get to use the phone? Your first dibs on that no ours situation presented lots of difficulties with you. Right. <laugh> . So you were the problem, you were the worry. And when, when I thought about it, and I kept trying to figure out, well , why was that, or why as a younger sibling, and I'm, I'm telling you, I bet many younger siblings feel this way. For us, it's not the forced participation. It's that everything is now tracked through the hierarchy of the birth order. Right . And so the level of ease in our life is based on what you do or do not do right or wrong. I mean, think about it, younger siblings, how many time do you have to go to bed because your older sibling did something and parents got mad at the whole lot . The whole bloodline in trouble. Now the whole bloodline in trouble. Right ? Right . And it's because of what you did. I'm like, I wasn't watching that. I wouldn't saying that I didn't do that. No , but your brother didn't go to bed too. Right? And so I , um, for me, the appeal of Easy was anti Andre. Right? Easy is anti Dre <laugh> . Right ? Easy and growing up for me is, you know, how can I get away from it? I remember thinking when our parents would be gone, and Andre was the older sibling, so he had to be responsible for making sure that, you know, we ate. And I would come after like several hours of being patient, say, Andre, I'm hungry. <laugh> . Right ? And he'd be like, all right . Continue playing video games or whatever he is doing. Right? Right. I remember that. So eating means I get to eat when he feels like cooking. Right? So there's no ease in that. Right? It's easy for you at , because it's , it's when Andre's hungry, then the whole family is hungry and the whole family can eat. Right. <laugh> , I , you know, I could have a school project like, Andre, will you help me do this? Or have to move a chair? Just need to do anything. And it wasn't that I needed it right then for him, it was when he felt like doing it. Right. So I think what happens when you're the good time , see, when you're the younger sibling, you might leave the home, you know, with a value or a more of an appeal toward ease because your upbringing hadn't been easy. <laugh> life ain't been no crystal stairs , <laugh> , no crystals. So , so you, you choosing partners and friendships that are what, based on ease, right? If I asked for it, you gonna do it right now? Cool. You work , uh, if I asked you to pay for this, you're gonna take care of your half right now. Cool. You work, right , <laugh> , you're not even trying your value and your standards have diminished because you've been spending the last, you know, 18 years underneath the shadow of your older siblings who they've clearly established the , the ebb and flow of the home. But what I realize in hearing your story is that's because you guys often have not even often, you know , have the pressure and the responsibility and the accountability. 'cause the , the flip side of that, and then I'll, I'll kick it back to you before we get to our sponsorship. But , um, you know, the flip side of that is that responsibility and that pressure also can equal you getting your butt whooped. Like, so if Nikki , if Nikki broke the plate, you know, the parents come home and say, what happened? There's a broken plate, what happened? Now it could be wholeheartedly Nikki's fault. I dropped it. Right ? I dropped kicked it. I Frisbee that joker like, it don't matter what happened. I guarantee you they gonna say, what were you doing, Andre? Yep . When she had that plate in her hand, you could be like, she was playing Frisbee with it. She decided to actually take a BB gun and shoot it. Everything that she did was wrong. Right . But because you're the elder, the accountability, the responsibility you gonna get a talking to or probably in trouble as well as me.
Andre:Absolutely.
Anitra:Um, because of that too. And so I can understand how that pressure, that forced participation, it does start to dis assign a value to, to how we look at ease and what we want for ease. Because now after 18 years, and think about it, everything, when you leave your parents' home, you can't wait to what change your circumstances. You can't wait to, you know , what you think is wise, do some things differently. And of course, we learned what have , as you've already laid out, that the hard choice is often the right choice. But yeah, we're seeking ease. We're seeking
Andre:Yeah.
Anitra:Achievements without great effort. <laugh> , we're seeking, you know, presentations of life circumstances Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> with few difficulties. We're seeking life free from worries and problems, which is the definition of easy. Especially after you've had some siblings to kind of Mm-Hmm . Put you along the way. So I'll, I'll kick it back to you, but no, I was ready for anything that didn't look like you. <laugh> <laugh> .
Andre:I love it. See , see , to me, that's, that's the greater impact of the choice. Whether it's , uh, uh, giving into the appeal of ease or whether it's fighting the difficulty of hardship. The , the , the impact is always going to be greater than you. Yeah . Uh , it's , it's , and so you cannot see it as an isolative moment. Right .
Anitra:You can't
Andre:See it as something, you're not an island. Right. Right . You can't, you cannot see it that way. Nope . So, right. So you, you definitely gotta be able to , um, recognize that, yeah, I might make the easy decision, but my easy decision absolutely will impact. Because it's, it's kind of what you described <laugh>. Um , so, you know, if I, if if me taking the easy route out, which made your life hard, right ? <laugh> , now you become ready for anything. Right ? That don't mean that's the right one. <laugh> . Right . You just ain't like him. <laugh> . So that's all that matters. You just ain't like him. <laugh> so and so, and so you, you also gotta know that there's a legacy in your ethic. Mm . Yeah.
Anitra:Yeah.
Andre:And, and there's a reach to your ethic that , um, you know, yeah. The appeal might be easy, but, you know, easy doesn't reach far. In fact, it reaches, it reaches the wrong way. <laugh> , it reaches the wrong direction.
Anitra:It's very limiting. Yeah.
Andre:It , it is very limiting. It can't reach far. And it , and , and therefore it reaches for what, what's that term? Low hanging fruit. Low hanging fruit, <laugh> . Listen, everybody, everybody done , done touched and been on the low hanging fruit,
Anitra:You know, get to
Andre:That good
Anitra:Good stuff up , up top. That's not
Andre:Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Anitra:I love that song . All right . Well, let's shout out our sponsorship for this episode, which is none other than S two MediaWorks, a media production company co-founded by my brother and I. And that company is dedicated to creating content that educates, inspires, empowers, and encourages positive influence in living. And we do that through creative and original narratives. Our mission at S two MediaWorks is to provide transformational education and resources for healthy and productive living. And we love telling stories. You guys we're dedicated to creating life-changing and life giving content and all that we do. And this podcast, the Savage Sibling Podcast, is a lineup in our slate. We've got books coming , we've got docuseries come in . And so we can't wait to continue to share all the work , uh, that we're doing and that we're producing behind the scenes. And as always, thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for rocking with us. Glad you're here.
Andre:Absolutely.
Anitra:All right , bro. Bro , you ready to get savage?
Andre:Absolutely. Let's go ahead and get savage. Uh , so again, the name of this episode is not going to be able to do it . Nope. And it's gonna make sense as we get through this. But first , uh, we're , 'cause we're talking about , uh, the appeal of easy Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative>
Andre:Versus looking at the difficulty that comes with doing things the hard way. Yeah . Not
Anitra:Necessarily
Andre:The wrong way. Right. Um , 'cause oftentimes the hard way is the right way. Yeah . 'cause
Anitra:It
Andre:Just takes more effort. Yep . Um , but the question that we have to answer first is why is easy appealing Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:<affirmative> to
Andre:Begin with? Like, why is, why are we more attracted to doing things easy? And I , I I believe that , you know, there's , um, in , in the field of psychology, one of the things we learned about was this term called cognitive dissonance.
Anitra:Mm-Hmm .
Andre:<affirmative> . And , um, this is such a profound word. We've heard it a lot lately.
Anitra:Right . Right .
Andre:In the political realm. And basically what it is, is it's this detachment from reality. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> . And
Andre:I think a lot of times easy is appealing because it detaches us from our reality. That's good . That's sometimes I do things the easy way because the reality is, is I am weak in an area and I don't want to have to make myself strong. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative>
Andre:I'm afraid of an area and I don't want to have to deal with the fear. And so sometimes what the hard way ends up meaning, or usually means is that something is being stretched
Anitra:Or
Andre:Something's being transformed. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>.
Andre:And so I go back to that whole taking out the trash. Taking out the trash as a kid is harder than taking out the trash. As an adult . As an adult.
Anitra:Yes. Yes .
Andre:And it's not because I'm stronger. Right. It's not because I can fight off the , the raccoons in the trashcan. <laugh> . Not that I can fight off the , the death defying feet of taking out trash that my dad implanted in me at good kid <laugh> . No. Take it out . The trash as an adult is easier. Why? Because I don't need somebody coming over to my house and saying, you live like a slob.
Anitra:That part,
Andre:I don't want live like a slob. Like, I don't want to come in and smell sour come . I don't wanna come in and smell garbage. That
Anitra:Part,
Andre:I don't want, want my life to have this attachment that suggests I don't know how to take care of myself. Right.
Anitra:That's
Andre:Good . So absolutely. Take it. I will take out the trash and it ain't even halfway full . All I gotta do is throw something in there that I don't wanna smell an out from . Now just to come on , I'll bag, matter of fact, if I'm tell the truth Right, I'll put in a brand new bag.
Anitra:Yes.
Andre:Throw away one item that I know will spoil if I don't take it out. Yes . And then search my house to fill the bag with other stuff.
Anitra:Come on and
Andre:Take it out. Now, I ain't doing that as a kid. <laugh> . No . As a kid. <laugh> , my mom done threw leftovers in there. It'll sit for a week. Come on on . If the trash don't reach the top of the can, I ain't taking it out. Nope . Nope . But as an adult, let me put an eggshell in there. Oh yeah . <laugh> . It's at the bottom. Oh , it's around <laugh> . It's around . I would , I will put, I will put the packaging of fish.
Anitra:Right .
Andre:Come on and take it out
Anitra:Immediately. Immediately. Come on immediately . Extra steps.
Andre:Right. So that's so, so as an adult, what I'm saying is, is my reality is such that I'm not trying to be a slaw . Yeah.
Anitra:Yeah.
Andre:I want to know that I, I have more ethic in life, more value in life than the , to allow myself to get to a point where I can look and smell and see and be like, oh, no, <laugh> . Right . That stinks.
Anitra:That's ugly living like that <laugh> ,
Andre:That's
Anitra:Garbage.
Andre:So I've gotta be able to, as an adult, simply be able to say, no, no, no. I've, I've matured. I've grown. Because what I'm saying is, as an adult, it's a lifestyle. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . It's not a chore anymore. Right. Yeah.
Anitra:Yeah.
Andre:Ethic is a lifestyle. It's not a task.
Anitra:Right. Right.
Andre:Ethic is a maturity level. <laugh> . It's , it's not a forced participation in the upbringing of this whole Right. <laugh> , like, as a kid, I'm forced, like, 'cause I'm not mature.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:I'm forced. 'cause I don't have the ethic. But as an adult, I gotta be able to say, no , I'm willing to do the hard stuff because I know what easy gets you.
Anitra:Yeah. And I
Andre:Need somebody to hear that
Anitra:<laugh> . Yeah .
Andre:I know. It easy gets you living long enough . If I visit an adult who finds it hard to take out the trash Mm-Hmm . I'm gonna find it hard to visit that adult again. Hang <laugh>
Anitra:<laugh> . Like , like that's,
Andre:That's , you wanna talk about easy. You'll
Anitra:Find it easy to be busy every time they call . Like ,
Andre:It's easy . It's easy. This , this is easy for you to sit here and smell that <laugh> . It's easy, like, it's easy for you to look at the , that seat with dishes in it doesn't
Anitra:Bother . It's
Andre:Easy. Like Right. No, I don't want no water. No. I don't want no food. I want nothing . I dunno where you're getting that dish from. <laugh> . I remember we have a , we have a childhood friend. This is so funny. We have a childhood friend. Uh, uh, well, so, so basically he's the older brother of your childhood friends .
Anitra:Okay. And
Andre:One time we had to go to , uh, Coleman Middle School, shout out to Wichita. There you , you go. Okay .
Anitra:Okay .
Andre:We had to go to , uh, Coleman. We were on our way to Coleman Middle school one day. And he said , uh, and no , and I had , uh, something for breakfast. I don't know what it was, but I had enough that I could share and, and what I, and I , and I said, Hey, you , you want some? And he, and he asked the weirdest question I heard in my life, but now I get it today. Like, and he knew this as a teenager,
Anitra:Right.
Andre:He said to me, did you wash dishes this morning? <laugh> ? Come on, come on <laugh> . And I was like, no, I didn't wash dishes. He said, were there dishes in your sink
Anitra:This morning , morning in the sink ? Come on
Andre:<laugh> . And I was like, yeah, there were, he said, nah , I don't want it.
Anitra:Right . <laugh> ,
Andre:I didn't understand then. But my thing is now, doc , if you go to bed, bed with
Anitra:Dirty before you go to bed,
Andre:You wash your dishes before you go to bed, you tidy your home . <laugh> , listen , I'll eat this . I'll , I'll take a snack from you. But if you don't, that means there's some, there's a level of filth that's acceptable to you .
Anitra:Remnants. There's some rem it ain't got that breakfast. Man .
Andre:Man, listen, listen. There is some transformation that, that, that that, that you're not finishing when you show me some ethic . Right. Which means there's a , there's this conflict in the way that you manage the ethics all over your life. I listen, I I it sounds petty. It sounds, doesn't cursory, it sounds surface. But listen, listen . If I walk in, if you don't make your bed, there's some transformation you missing. Right ?
Anitra:Come ,
Andre:If you don't wash your dishes, there's some transformation you miss .
Anitra:Come
Andre:Y don't take out that trash . There's some transformation you are missing. If I get in your car and there's trash all in the backseat , that's last . And that's last time I'm getting in your car, <laugh>
Anitra:Getting your car . It's gonna your be easy to pass you by car . It's gonna be easy to say no.
Andre:Because when we, when we struggle to do the hard, when we struggle to manage the ethics of life, there's cognitive dissonance that's
Anitra:Setting
Andre:In. You have said to yourself, <laugh> ethic doesn't mean a whole lot. Ethic doesn't have value to it. And that, that that mental conflict occurs that that mental conflict that occurs. It doesn't , when watch this, your beliefs don't line up with your actions. Come on. 'cause I don't, I don't. 'cause there's a whole lot of people like, no, no, no. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Anitra:Right. Where
Andre:There's no god in your home. Right. <laugh> , there's no God in your car. There's no God in your personal space. There's no God in your shower. There's no God in you . Sink with the toothpaste in the toilet . <laugh> . Right . There's no, God , let me see a ring in the toilet. Nah , it's godless . I'm out. Godless I'm out . Out . That's right. Unclean, unclean. <laugh> . Unclean . You're right . Oh God . Because you know that mean , listen, that's what I'm, that's that cognitive dissonance. Like your beliefs have to line up with your actions. And the , and , and how do they do that? Ethic. Ethic. And what does ethic tell me? Ethic tells me you don't mind doing the hard thing 'cause it's the right thing. Mm-Hmm , hmm . <affirmative> . You're not trying to take the easy way out and then kind of dilute your ethic. Or show me that again, you , you know what you believe in what you do. They're , they're in this internal conflict Yeah . Fact matter . That that's why it's, it's an uncomfortable state of mind. Mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> .
Andre:When someone is taking the easy way out for me. Yes.
Anitra:It's
Andre:Uncomfortable because what I'm saying, what I'm, what I'm seeing is, is no, you would rather shortcut, you would rather half a do things. Yeah . You would rather just take , you really would rather take the easy way out, which doesn't mean it's the right way out.
Anitra:Right. Right .
Andre:Which also tells me you're not utilizing your best self. Now I don't. That's give my own self, my half or worse self.
Anitra:That's good. Ooh .
Andre:That's why I'll go to bed. I won't go to bed or oftentimes on my way to bed, I'll say to myself, I dare you to go to bed without doing this.
Anitra:Yeah. Because
Andre:So now if I'm giving myself my best self, I'm not finna accept somebody's less than best self <laugh> . Give me your best .
Anitra:Yeah . Yeah .
Andre:Show me, show me what you value in life based on do you take the easy route? Yeah . Or
Anitra:Do you
Andre:Mind taking the hard route? Now when I when we say easy and hard, when I say hard, I'm not dipping into that saying, what's that saying? Don't work harder. Work smarter. Work smarter. Not
Anitra:Exactly. Yeah. Yeah .
Andre:Right . That's not what I'm saying. 'cause working hard doesn't mean working dumb.
Anitra:Right. Come on, teach.
Andre:That's not what I'm saying. Working hard doesn't mean working dumb. Now I'm with you if you're dumb , if you're doing something stupid, you're automatically gonna work harder. To me, that's still taking the route where your ethic
Anitra:Yeah .
Andre:Is in question to me.
Anitra:Yeah. That's good .
Andre:So when , so when we say work harder, we're not saying work don't work. We're not going against that Sag absolutely works smart .
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . Yeah .
Andre:Absolutely. Works smart . But we're saying is, is don't take the easy route that questions your ethic. That that gives me half of who you are instead of your absolute best self. You see that ? That's , and and see too many of us get into that, that that space where we're redefining our best internal self. Mm-Hmm . We're rewiring ourselves. Mm-Hmm . For the appeal of easy. That's
Anitra:Easy. That's good .
Andre:I know I should do this, but I'm gonna rewire myself to always accept for the easy Right.
Anitra:To accept
Andre:Less by doing easy. Because it's easier to take the path of least resistance. Too many of us are doing that.
Anitra:Yeah. That's so good.
Andre:Right . But , but last time I checked, resistance builds strength, resistance builds muscle, mental muscle, spiritual muscle, emotional muscle. We're too busy reaching for the low hanging fruit. And that's an issue within itself. Um, I have found, I'm gonna say this and I'll kick it over to you. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , I found that our brains oftentimes trick us into believing that low hanging fruit is the ripest, but it's
Anitra:Not. Yeah.
Andre:Matter of fact, if you talk to an agricultural Yep . Yep .
Anitra:Agriculturalist,
Andre:Is that how you say it ? Yeah .
Anitra:Uhhuh ,
Andre:They'll tell you the best fruit is the fruit that's closest to the sun.
Anitra:To the sun. Which means
Andre:It's got to be at the highest elevation.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:Too many of y'all grabbing for the low hanging fruit that's got got spoil in them, dark spoiled spots in it, stuff like that. Right . Low, low . In fact , low hanging fruit does not hold an intrinsic value. That's , I said something I need to make sure we hear that easy looks appealing, like ripe fruit.
Anitra:Yeah . But
Andre:Once you take a bite, you realize why it's low hanging .
Anitra:Yeah. That's so good. But
Andre:You take a bite and you realize you like , oh , everything. Yeah . Exactly. Oh, wait, a what? The world
Anitra:Need more time . Hope that I
Andre:Just bite in because, and that's, that's what I mean when I say cognitive dissonance. Yeah . It will always make look good. Mm-Hmm . Because it's easy. And then it becomes uncomfortable because what you have to ch because you've chosen easy and less valuable instead of hard, not meaning diff not meaning like , uh, hurtful or anything like that. But instead of hard or ha and which has more value, which, because it strengthens , uh, your ethic , uh, it strengthens your ethic in life. And so, but anyway, that , that's my foundation for why it's so good . Easy, seems appealing. So I , I'll kick it over to you. What is your foundation for why easy seems appealing?
Anitra:I love it. You laid out the, the ethical implications there. And I think that's, it's a beautiful foundation. I took the approach of kind of society's impact on us when it comes to the appeal of easy . 'cause we , you know, we live in a world where everything is so time centered and task oriented. And so there's a pacing right of the world around us that encourages us to what? Execute, execute, finish, finish, finish, do, do, do, do, do . And we start, that's ingrained in us at, you know, elementary school. You're , you're hitting targets and you're pushed to it. And it's , which is why what you've laid out in terms of the foundation from an ethical standpoint is so critical where, you know, our parents, our families really help to shape and guide the way that we look at our commitment to , to the task in our life. But when you're inundated with this mindset of, you know, graduate early finish school in a year. Right . Shop from home, stay home to look at online church. Don't get up and get dressed and go to service. Uh, use Amazon instead , uh, you know, wear it this way. Uh, they even have tools now for you to be able to braid your hair faster. Right? Yeah. It's like, rather than the , the blessing of going into, you know, ideally if you pick a beautiful beautician, that you actually get two hours to sit with them and they can minister to you. And it's self care . Like, we're so inundated with this mindset of what's going to be right time centered, task oriented, and you already laid it out easy for us really is, well, what is the path of least resistance? Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And we look for that path because we're overwhelmed with all of the things that we've been asked to accomplish. If you don't get a good ethical foundation of, you know, what is the best choice for the things that are important versus urgent, important versus urgent.
Speaker 4:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , we,
Anitra:Society will push us to urgency. Right . And there are things that are urgent, but that doesn't mean that what's in front of you that's urgent is the most important. Right. And so that's the Yeah . No important is different from urgency, right? Yes . And
Speaker 4:So
Anitra:What happens
Speaker 4:Is,
Anitra:We're we're Oh , the bill. Yes. The bill is due right now. Yes, it is due right this very minute, but it's still gonna be due tomorrow too. Yes . I love that . And you can either love , take that extra shift at your job and try to make sure you get that money, or you can spend time with your kid. I can guarantee you that the important thing is that time investing in your child.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Anitra:That bill is urgent, but you've been here before. You're gonna work it out. Or you know that at some point it's gonna work itself out. And I think that's the challenge. We appeal to the easy, because we're trying to really , um, reconcile what's urgent versus what's important. And that goes back to what Buro just said. If you don't have an ethical foundation that tells you where you need to lean in and work hard, 'cause that's a better choice versus what is easy, society will press in on you and Absolutely. You know, force you to look at this notion of what is the path of least resistance so I can just get it all accomplished. And that's the danger, right. And we start living that at elementary school. We do your nephew, you know, he's in middle school now, but <laugh> , I , I finally picked up on what was happening. You know , every day he comes home from school, I always ask him, how was your day? And I promise you every day he's like, it was a good day.
Speaker 4:It was
Anitra:A good day. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> .
Speaker 4:Mm-Hmm . Yeah .
Anitra:And I kept going every day . Can't be , you know, and what happened was we , he would say this and then maybe an hour later while we're eating dinner or an hour later, that's , that's it . We're doing something's it . Then he'd be like, well, this happened and this happened. And then she said this. And I was like, well , you know, and I'm thinking, whoa. And I said, well, I'm glad you shared that Kai . I said, that sounds like that
Speaker 4:Was kind of
Anitra:Rough. And he said, yeah. I said, so it sounds like you didn't have a good day at all. And he's like, no, I didn't <laugh> . And I said,
Speaker 4:But
Anitra:Son, when you came in <laugh> when you came in two hours ago, good . Said it was a good day. You , you came in ice cube , brother . You came in ice, ice cube . Today was a good day. Right. <laugh> say you left , like, who's a rapper that has some, some
Speaker 4:Angry lyrics.
Anitra:I don't know . You ended on somebody else. You came in on . I'm gonna tell you what , you came in Ice Cube,
Speaker 5:You left nwa.
Anitra:That's right. <laugh> . Exactly. Perfect. Perfect . And so I found myself going, huh? But then what he said to me was, he is like, yeah. He said, it's just easier to say it was a good day than process what I'm feeling. And I was like, woo . <laugh> . And I was like, you having a grown father ? Like I have that every day <laugh> . Like it's easier to just be like, I'm good. Or it's easier to just eat out rather than cook. It's easier to do all of these things 'cause we're looking for the path of least resistance. But
Speaker 5:The
Anitra:Problem as, as you just said, Dre, is that that's never gonna lead you where you need to go. Resistance is important, right? Yes . And so I think that's the first layer of appeal, especially in the society and the world that we're living in, that is very counter to, you know, this notion of Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 5:<affirmative> difficult
Anitra:Choices and it's already just overwhelmed. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , you know , when you live in a world that they're telling you to be time oriented, task centered, you're gonna have to contend with this space of do I choose, you know, how do I make my choices in terms of how I invest my effort and my value? Right ? And then the second piece I wanna add, and this is really for the, the doers out there. Those of us that are doers, we're checklist oriented. It's not for everybody, but those of us that kind of fall under that mindset of, I have to do, I , I wanna see my checklist each day, get, you know, dwindled down. You end up fighting for your time because again, you're pushing against the, the deadline, the due date. And that's frustrating. And when we , when we're so hyperfocused on checklist, or so hyper-focused on , on execution to get something accomplished, then you miss the larger benefit of the journey. And that's also what my bro, bro just pointed out, which is that, you know, yes, you may not like taking out the trash, but over time, I , I love the story you talk about as , as an adult, you think about the state of your home and that you don't want
Speaker 5:The
Anitra:Smells. Right . But there's a, there's a moment where I think every person, once they have their first apartment, or once they buy their first home, or they even have their own office, or you own your own, you know, building, you take pride in what you own, you
Speaker 5:Do.
Anitra:So that lesson and that training that our parents gave us, that responsibility, right. That we were learning, that we were frustrated about. Once you have your own, that value of this is my own, and I wanna take care of it means so much more. Right? And you can miss the importance of that journey when you're so focused on just checking off the item on the list. People ask me today , they're like, oh, have you ever been to Houston? 'cause Houston is a city that's popping. It's been popping, but it's really popping now. And every time they ask me, bro, bro , I say, no, I've never been to Houston. Now here's the truth. I have been to Houston, but I went to Houston while I was a student at FMU because we were added to a last minute performance competition that we weren't expecting to be in. And so within a matter of like three days, we had to get, you know , airlines, hotels. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . We had to get our performance together, get our wardrobe. Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 5:<affirmative> .
Anitra:And it was just a, I mean, a circus of chaos to try to not only get us ready, but to get to Houston. Yeah . And then we were in Houston, we did the performance. The performance was amazing. We had like two whole days after that, before we had to fly back. And I can't tell you one thing that we did, right? Right. I can't tell you anything about Houston because we were so inundated with the execution of representing the college well,
Speaker 6:Of
Anitra:Representing
Speaker 6:The
Anitra:Program well, of making sure we got all of our gear that had to be rented back to the place. And so I'm sure we went and did some stuff in Houston, I'm sure we traveled to some things. I was so busy trying to recover, trying to rest, trying to make sure everything
Speaker 6:Was done.
Anitra:And what happens when you are always focused on execution, when you're always focused on just getting it done. And that comes from, again, not honoring what's easy versus what's hard. It's just, I need it off my plate. You miss the journey. Journey . You miss journey . The value, you miss the wholeness of the experience because you're so focused on completion or just your mindset is, Ugh , I don't want to be dealing with this so I can't stop and smell the roses. I can't stop and look up and see
Speaker 6:What's
Anitra:Around me. And that's what society pushes on us because we're so future focused that we forget what's actually happening in the present. And so that's another appeal of easy is I just wanna get it done. I just wanna get it finished. Mm-Hmm .
Speaker 6:Right . Mm-Hmm . I
Anitra:Just want it to be over. And that's problematic. Which is why if you don't look at it from, you know, what your parents instilled in you in terms of har you know, work ethic and working hard and the value that comes with that, even if it does require some elbow grease, even if it isn't the path of least resistance, then there's so much value and worth it , you miss. And the last thing I wanna say that I'm gonna , uh, send it back to you bro. Bro, is what happens when we're execution oriented or completion oriented, is we negate the fact that what we're seeking is effectiveness and efficiency, which can be misconstrued as easy, effectiveness,
Speaker 6:And
Anitra:Efficiency does not equal easy. Right . Effective simply means whatever I'm doing, I'm going to be successful in producing that desired intent, outcome or result or outcome. Right. That that's how I'm effective. Right. So like if I want Malachi to drink more water as his mom, I have found it is not effective to just simply ask him to drink more water <laugh> . Right. Right . It's not going to work. Now I know my son is competitive. So what I do is I create an entire competition in the household. I make sure we all have our water jugs. And I say the first person that finishes this wins for the day. And you know, they , they get bragging rights or whatever the case. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> that becomes effective because he's 12. He don't wanna drink water naturally. He wants soda. Yeah . He want everything else. But now what he wants more than soda is to be able to brag on his nana and his mom that he smoked us that day. <laugh> that he finished . Yep .
Speaker 6:Right .
Anitra:Absolutely. And so that's effective. Does it make it easy? No. 'cause that means I'm buying each of us our own gallon jug of water with a time thing on it to know by noon you gotta be down to here. Is it easy? No. 'cause that means in order to make it competitive, I actually have to work <laugh> . Right ? Right . To make sure that he could see that I'm drinking the same amount of water that I'm requiring him to drink. But at the end of the day, if he got a gallon of water and it was effective, yes , definitely not easy. But it was effective. But it was effective. So you're seeking that effectiveness. The other thing you're seeking is efficiency and efficiency is not necessarily easy. That's trying to achieve the maximum productivity with a minimal of wasted effort. Wasted. That's the key word . Or expense or time. Right. So I don't wanna key , don't anything. So some of us foolishly think that we're choosing the path of least resistance or what's easy and you don't even realize you don't wasted your effort, you don't wasted your expense, you done wasted your time. Right. Absolutely . All these things are in place . So that doesn't make it easy. Going for efficiency is a very good thing, which as bro , bro said, in terms of what you value and , and work ethic, efficiency is a quality value to have. It means that I'm going to make sure it actually will make your li your life easier. It will make your life easier in the long run when you are actively working hard at being efficient. Right . But that doesn't take the elbow grease away. And so I , I thought about our mom. So, you know, our mom, she's nana to Malachi. We, we like to play video games with him on PlayStation five. There's this game you guys called Overcooked. I love overcooked. It's a PlayStation. And actually it may not just be a PlayStation five game, but it's on PSS five. It's a cooperation game where everybody who plays has to work together. And the whole idea is each character is working together to finish a meal within a certain amount of time and get it served up well. So, you know, Malachi and I have advantage because we grew up playing video games. Right? Right. Nana doesn't have that advantage. She didn't grow, she grew up with arcades, if that Right, right . Like she didn't have anything at home in her house that was video games . So she's taken , you know, one for the team by jumping in and learning how to play what probably looks like a Lear jet controller to her. Right? Right, right. She's sitting down and going, okay, there's like 20 buttons. And so she plays, so in this game you have characters that have to chop the, the vegetables and the food and characters have to cook it. Those have to serve it. So everybody has their role and you have to work together in a cooperative manner to execute, you know, and get it finished. Right . So Nana just mastered chopping. She just mastered chopping <laugh> . Like she knows how to get the vegetable and chop it on the cutting board and then set it aside. Right. We've been playing for a little while. Well, so Malachi started getting frustrated 'cause we're getting to the more advanced levels. And he's like, Nana, why can't you come over here and cook? And she's like, grandson, in order for me to be efficient <laugh> for , for this game to go, well, I'm gonna stick to chopping. I know how to chop. I can chop good. I know how to chop. I can chop meat, I can chop onions, I can chop mushrooms, I can chop tomatoes, gimme anything, I'll chop it. But you asking me to go over here on this other side and start cooking, I ain't ready for that.
Speaker 7:That's a whole other set of buttons I ain't learned yet.
Anitra:<laugh> . And so he was like, man, it would be, I said, son, we are not going to win. And your game , your your , your energy is to win if we are not efficient. Right . Right . N's efficiency <laugh> where there will be be no wasted effort or time Yeah . Or expense.
Andre:Yeah .
Anitra:Let her chop. But you gotta chop. That's just it. And so she stays in her lane. And that's really the key when we're thinking about the appeal of easy real talk, it's not easy, is not just making it less work. What you're really after is effectiveness and efficiency. And here's the real truth of that. That still takes work to figure it out in every scenario in your life. And so you can't, you're not gonna get away from it. You need to put in the strategy of how can I be efficient? How can I be effective? And that's going to lead to the better outcome, which then ideally will make your life easier down the line. 'cause otherwise you're going and cleaning up right . Where you lack efficiency and where you lack the , uh, you know, effectiveness. And it's just, it's just the two. Don't, don't exist and , and don't work together.
Andre:Uh,
Anitra:Those are just two points I wanna add. But that's a perfect seg segue into the transformational perspective. 'cause we always wanna present the counterpoint to whatever
Andre:Our, you know, our
Anitra:Topic is for the episode. And so here's the thing. The question is,
Andre:Bro , bro , who doesn't like easy? Come
Anitra:On now. Yeah .
Andre:Working
Anitra:Smarter,
Andre:Not harder, like what y'all talk about. Right? So , so going back to that, 'cause we kind of delved into it a little bit, but , but there's another , uh, but there's an additional , uh, thought that I have when it, when it comes to those, you know, who , like you said, who people who just know I love easy , easy works for me, right ?
Anitra:I'm not Finn to work hard, easy, easy
Andre:<laugh> . And , and , and the thing about it is, there's a way that you can work that shows your intelligence, right? Mm-Hmm
Anitra:Mm-Hmm, <affirmative>.
Andre:Okay . So people who don't like easy, I'm going to say aren't necessarily showing your intelligence,
Anitra:Right? <laugh> . Right ?
Andre:<laugh> . Okay. We're really not showing your intelligence. Just 'cause you took the easy way out. I know some folk that are doing a bid in jail taking
Anitra:Easy
Andre:Way out on . Now , was that
Anitra:Intelligent? Come on . Was it intelligent?
Andre:Right? So, so no. Who doesn't like easy people that don't want to think, people that don't want to , to use their brain, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Think about it this way. You know, there's , um, there's a thought that, okay, like I said , there are people on my job and they're always taking the easy way out. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , right ? But we're all connected, right ? So they're easy. Makes my job what? Harder, harder. <laugh> more difficult. Yep . Right ? They, and you know, you know, they , you know, they'll tell you, no, I'm just, I've got this, you know, what's that hot button word going around the workplace? Oh, I got a , I got preference diversity. <laugh> . Like, I , like, like I, I've , I'm , I , I'd like to do, I'd like to do it this way. It brings diversity to the work. I That's preference diversity, right ?
Anitra:I'm saying
Andre:No , you , you just prefer to be lazy. You , that's , you prefer to be right. <laugh> . And , and , and she , right? So the reason why it's diverse is because the reason why you can, we want to use these terms preference diversity is because we're connected. So that doesn't mean that my heart is your heart , right? That's the problem where people who, who get it wrong, who take the easy way out. Mm-Hmm , <affirmative> . Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . They're looking at my heart and saying, oh God, I can't do that. But wait a minute, my heart is my heart. Your heart's got to be yours and your heart may , what you think it's hard for me is me operating in where I'm gifted, operating in my talent, operating in my intelligence. And the reason why it looks hard is because you might not be talented where I'm talented, you might not be intellectually sound where I'm intellectually sound, but it works both ways. I'm not talented where you are talented, so it looks hard to me, but for you, it's like, it's not good if I look hard, but it's doc , I'm just, I'm in the zone. I'm just doing my thing. This is how I'm gifted. Mm-Hmm . Right ? So, so, so what, that's why I say easy is a, it's what you're looking, it's , it's your thought. You think it's easy, it's a thought. It's I'm gifted. It's your gifted, it's your it's . And so, yeah, that's the reason why things look the way they look, but they're not necessarily that way. So I , I've , I've got to be able to understand that taking the easy way out doesn't mean I'm intelligent. In fact, it's probably the exact exact opposite. <laugh> . It's probably the exact opposite. There are too many people walking around here with preferential preference diversity, right? <laugh> , you know , it's easy. It's all based on what I see and not what I'll become. That's a
Anitra:Problem. Yes. I love
Andre:That you take an easy way out 'cause of what you see, but you're gonna miss out on what you become. Yes, it's easy. But watch this. When <laugh> , if I could take a step further with this Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> preference, diversity thing, right ? <laugh> , you know, preference diversity can be based on attraction. Yes . You also can be based on avers , aversions of both, right? Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:<affirmative> ,
Andre:But never making a decision on who you will become.
Anitra:Right.
Andre:Taking the easy way out. I like who I am. I don't have a need to grow anymore. Well , when does growth stop <laugh> ? Never. When you
Anitra:Die for
Andre:Real . When
Anitra:You die, when does
Andre:Growth stop? That's exactly right. Growth stops when you're ready to , you're no longer on this stunted.
Anitra:Yeah .
Andre:That's when it's , that's that's when it stops. That's good . It stops when you're ready to be stunted because life keeps going, which means growth will always be required. Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:Will
Andre:Always be required. And so yeah. That's, that's, that's, yeah. Yeah. That's, that's people who just like it easy <laugh> , you're basically saying, I'm done growing. I'm stunted, I'm, I'm good. My arrested development. That's what you arrested development. There we go. <laugh> . Right, right. Bottom line is, is hard work promotes growth, hard work promotes growth. Right.
Anitra:And we wanna grow. So with that, we will jump into the quick shot.
Andre:Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, so , uh, you know, we are , we are talking about the, the benefits of doing it hard and the appeal of easy. And I've had to learn that when it comes to, I, I've realized starting out in life, I used, you know, if something was hard, I might say I'm not gonna be able to do it. But I had to learn that when something is easy, now I'm learning to say I'm not gonna be able to do that. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Because there's a true value in doing , uh, the hard work. There's a true benefit in doing the hard work because it's the right work, it's the right ethic to have, it's the right lifestyle ethic to have. Uh , it reminds me of a quote. Um , it reminds me of something ne Nelson Mandela said, and I'm gonna quote him here, said,
Anitra:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> ,
Andre:There is no passion to be found in playing small and settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Mm-Hmm .
Anitra:<affirmative> . I ,
Andre:I , I , the reason why I , I brought that up, learning how to get out of your comfort zone, get out of that easy mindset space, lead you to a life that you're capable of living because you're finding out what motivates you and you're challenging yourself to be better than who you were in your laziness. And as you
Anitra:Challenge
Andre:Yourself, you find that what was an easy route turned into a harder existence. But when you started taking the harder but right route, and we've been saying it all along, mm-Hmm.
Anitra:<affirmative> , you
Andre:Are actually creating an easier existence. And so you gotta be willing to stop finding moments to play small.
Anitra:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> ,
Andre:Stop settling for those moments to play small and step up to the big moments and go hard. Absolutely. Go hard.
Anitra:Good . I love it. I love it. All right , so for the quick shot for me, I'm gonna kind of play on this notion of curb appeal versus fixer upper , you know, the , the mindset of on one end, it's like, it looks pretty cool, but that's the easy route versus fixer upper or path of lease resistance versus road less traveled, right? <laugh> . Okay. Like these two spaces. So I think I'll have you say, we'll use the title of our episode that I'm gonna give you a scenario and you can either decide, yeah, I'm not gonna be able to do that <laugh> . Or you could say, yeah, that , that works for me.
Andre:Okay.
Anitra:All right . Here's the first one. An attractive woman asks you out on a date and then you find out she knows your ex-wife.
Andre:Not gonna be able to do it . <laugh>
Anitra:Not gonna , she's attractive. She, she , listen , she dime piece , she fine. If ,
Andre:If she knows Katina, she knows just how hard it is to be in a relationship
Speaker 8:With me. <laugh> , I don't think she ready for it . Not gonna be able to do
Andre:It. <laugh> . She ain't been hurt my feelings. <laugh> . Nope .
Anitra:I should have said attractive, wealthy. I should've put everything in there <laugh> . It don't matter. Just shoulda be like , not that we able to do it matter . As soon as you say, and
Andre:She knows Katina , then she knows how hard it's not to be, not gonna
Anitra:Be able to do it. <laugh> . All right , here's another one. You have an amazing opportunity to launch your own business, but one of your potential investors has a recent bankruptcy.
Andre:Uh ,
Anitra:Look at you <laugh>.
Andre:'cause you know, there's some folk
Anitra:Right?
Andre:That know how to use bankruptcy to their advantage, to
Anitra:Their advantage. Our former president is one, one of our former presidents. Sorry, one of our, there's maybe many that have done it . I don't know . Right? Right.
Andre:So, so, oh, it depends. Ooh ,
Anitra:That works for you.
Andre:That might work for me. Depends on the, it depends on how smart the bankrupted investor is. <laugh> depends on how intelligent,
Anitra:I'm
Andre:Not able , if the bankrupted investor's intelligent, I , I can work with that. If they're,
Anitra:If they've used the loss to their advantage,
Andre:<laugh> not gonna be able to do it.
Anitra:All right ? Not gonna be , there's another one. Your friend has graciously agreed to help you jumpstart your workout plan and he invites you to run with him. Every morning you show up and you find out he runs five miles every day .
Andre:Not gonna be able to do it. <laugh> not gonna be able to do it. Not gonna be able to do it. No , because he and I you are not committed, have different, we know he and I got different goals. He and I got different goals. Okay. We got different goals. His goals obviously require him to run five miles a day. <laugh> , my goals require me to run. Mm-Hmm . My goals require me to jog. Mm-Hmm . My goals require me to walk briskly for 15 minutes a day . Okay. Okay. <laugh> . Okay. Not gonna be able to do it.
Anitra:My God, this is so funny. And this one, this next one is actually based on a real, a real family member in our household. But I'll , I'll just put it out there. Your sibling has asked you to borrow your brand new carpet shampoo and you know that she just started a dog care business.
Andre:No. Not gonna be able to do it . <laugh> . No . Nah , no . Uhuh .
Anitra:That's one of our cousins in Ohio, by the way. I just wanna
Andre:Not gonna be able to do it. Uhuh . Uhuh , you ain't fitting to ruin my car . My Bissell . No. <laugh>. No. No. Oh God . I bought the carpet shampoo specific to the way my carpets need to be Shampooed works, right?
Anitra:The way my carpets are set up right .
Andre:<laugh> , the way your doggy daycare set up . <laugh> <laugh> , you don't need to buy a shampoo. <laugh> . You, you need to sign a contract with a shampooing company that comes out weekly. That's what you need. You ain't been tear up my missile . No <laugh> .
Anitra:No. Oh , I love it. All right , let's do two more real quick here. Your mother asked you to drive her to church service that day. You agree? And then she casually mentions she has a few errands to run before service starts. <laugh>.
Andre:Okay . Okay.
Anitra:Now
Andre:Lemme say this, lemme say this. <laugh> . Lemme say this. I'm going to do it
Anitra:Right <laugh> ,
Andre:Because I don't want to , I don't want face the Lord or judgment for not taking my mama to church.
Anitra:That's a hard work, work ethic. But
Andre:What I'm gonna say is, is you got gas money. Oh no. <laugh> . <laugh> . Because if you ain't got no gas money, <laugh> , you ain't going nowhere. But church it home . That's it. That's it. You got gas money for all these errands, right ? <laugh> ? Mm . You go , we going home and if you got gas money, I'll be like, did you tithe unto the Lord? Unto
Anitra:The,
Andre:Okay . Okay.
Anitra:I'm gonna be like, well, let's, let's go ahead and go to church and then and see how the , the church service goes <laugh> . Right ? Right . See , see how that goes first? And then we'll see how the day transpires. All right . Your daughter was accepted to a prestigious school with a full ride scholarship. We'll say it's like a high school or private school or something . And in order to accept the scholarship, you as a parent must agree to volunteer for 25 hours per month.
Andre:Oh man. Oh , that's tough.
Anitra:That's a tough one.
Andre:Oh , 'cause that's five hours will . Right .
Anitra:Look at you doing, look at him doing the math. Y'all <laugh> .
Andre:Oh man,
Anitra:That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot . But you get that full ride though. That's lot . That full ride to this prestigious private school. Be ,
Andre:Ah , listen, I'm going to do it, but I ain't gonna like it.
Anitra:You ain't gonna like it <laugh> . Yeah ,
Andre:I ain't gonna like it. I ain't gonna like it Uhuh . And , and I'm gonna rise to the level of volunteerism where I'm more
Anitra:Get kicked out of a
Andre:Delegator.
Anitra:Oh, there you go.
Andre:I no , a delegator that way. Then my five hours, I could do virtually <laugh> not an
Anitra:Ra . You gonna create some systems.
Andre:I would get one of them green screens where I'll be at the sports bar on Zoom, on Zoom, making sure everybody but it , but you know, the green screen. So it shows like I'm in a home office while I'm at a sports bar . You the sports bar , watching the game, <laugh> watching the game.
Anitra:You gonna figure out a way to make snacks.
Andre:I'll figure it out . Equate to five hours,
Anitra:Right? I drop off
Andre:Snacks and that's my five hours
Anitra:For the week. <laugh> all . I love it.
Andre:I ain't finna pay on tuition. No, no.
Anitra:Love it. Love it, love it. All right , bro, bro. Uh , anything for the final blow?
Andre:Absolutely. So again, we are , we are looking at ethic, right? Um , so many times when we're, when we are looking at a situation that where we have to do something and we choose to say, I'm not going to be able to do it. Yeah . It's because of how we see ourselves in the moment. How we see ourselves being able to do it or being able , uh, or feeling like the value or the , the loss of comfort is greater than the return . So we're looking at ourselves, what we're gonna get, what we gotta do to get it done. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . And ultimately when it , when we're looking at ourselves, what we ought to be looking at is just how great we are and how doing things makes us, can build our greatness. Not for bragging rights, right? Just to simply be able to keep growing in life. And there can never be a situation where we look at and say, I can't do it. I can't do it. And give in to the easy route or the lazy or the procrastination. Um, not when, again, I I'm me being a man of faith, not when my Bible tells me that I can do all things through Christ, which gives me strength. Yeah . Because ultimately growth is about getting stronger in everything. Anytime we have that moment, there are two routes we can take. The easy route. The easy route though says that there's nothing required of you. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And because there's nothing required of you, there's nothing that will reward you. Or I can take the harder route, the intelligent route, the right route, because hard is relative, because it's relational to you. What looks hard to you may be right where you're gifted at doing. So. If I stay in my giftedness, stay in the passion, stay in my colleagues , stay in my person , then again, what looks hard actually becomes growth. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . I don't go to the gym lift lightweights and expect to grow stronger, right ? I have to lift the heavy weights . But what I feel the next day is actually growth. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . And ultimately what was heavy today becomes light tomorrow. And that's what we gotta look at when we're, when we're saying who do you want to be? Do you want to be the dude that always takes the easy way out? Then you're the guy that's stunted arrested in your development doesn't grow. Or do you want to be the one that's challenged by the hard things because you know, growth is coming, you know, better is coming, you know, a easier life is coming when I put in the hard work now. So for me, that's kind of that, that final blow. Who do you wanna be? That's gonna let me know if you're gonna be on the couch or if you're gonna build character. Who do you want to be? Who do you want to be?
Anitra:That is so good. Thank you for the final blow. So we've come to the end of the episode. As always, thank you so much for joining us. Please help us build the Savage siblings community. We need you guys to like to share, to comment, to leave a review, give us a rating, subscribe, and most importantly, send this to your favorite Savage siblings. Perhaps you have an example of easy work and you think everybody should adopt this easy work. Well let us know about that. Or maybe you have your own example of, yeah, I'm not gonna be able to do it. We wanna hear that as well. Share all of those stories with us. Huge shout out to the team that helps us flow and grow. Each episode. Dwayne McClendon and Kyle Davis, our sound editors, Ronnie Maxwell of Maxwell Music, our music, Maxwell producer, Keith Cross of Kross Photography for all the amazing photos. We love you guys. We thank you. And of course our parents. Thank you for your DNA and thank you for the funny life lessons. We wouldn't be here parentals without you. And last, but certainly not least, our listeners, we're so glad that you're rocking with this each and every episode. So we will see you next time. And remember, don't go through life alone.
Andre:Take care. Bye y'all.